If you have watched Six Feet Under, then you know the scene I am talking about. That Sia song starts with the delay effect on the piano as the character Claire drives away from the familiar to her unknown future while playing a mixed CD given to her by a lover that voted for Bush.
This post is my Claire CD for anyone ready to leave their current geographical or spiritual location. Play these songs when you are driving, flying, or walking away from things that you no longer prefer.
This post will also serve as my goodbye letter to a city of angels.
Let's begin...
JONI MITCHELL - I HAD A KING
"I can't go back there anymore..."
You gave it shot and you put your heart out there. You even got some bruises in the process.
Don't be hard on yourself. You are on a journey, and somewhere out there is a door that will open when you put your key into it. Please remember this feeling and honor your scars so you don't have to go through the same thing again somewhere else.
Now...pack your bags but DO NOT BRING THAT! YOU DON'T NEED THAT ANYMORE!
THE MANHATTAN TRANSFER - SOUL FOOD TO GO
"...I'll pour you tasty funk, We got cool and hot Just for you, the pleasures of the soul..."
Hopefully one of the lessons you have learned is to be good to your body. This passage could be difficult physically. Bring some healthy food for the road. Something lite but filling. And if you're going to get some "comfort food", make sure that it's feeding your soul as well and not distracting you from feeling every part of this beautiful and scary moment.
BADLY DRAWN BOY - THE LONG WAY ROUND
"...All the changes must come from you..."
You are packed and have enough water and dried fruit. So now you have to choose the best route to take.
Have you realized how sacred this is yet? Every day is sacred actually (even the days you want to forget); therefore, don't skip steps because you assume you should be somewhere else already. Enjoy the ride...
GLASS ANIMALS - LIFE ITSELF
"Come back down to my knees Lean back now, lean back and breathe..."
Turn up the volume and dance. Don't be embarrassed. So what if there are people or other cars around. You are reclaiming yourself.
Getting your life back can be fun. Shake those parts of you that have been asleep. Lean back into the core of who you are and let that lead you forward.
DMX - PARTY UP
"Y'all gon' make me lose my mind up in HERE, up in here..."
If you feel that some of your light was smothered while you were in that cell, then you should ignite it.
You have permission to express anger in a healthy way that does not harm you or others. You have permission to scream.
"HULK, SMASH!"
JACKSON BROWNE - LATE FOR THE SKY
"How long have I been sleeping..."
Now that some of that is out of your system, do you like yourself enough now to forgive yourself? Can you admit that you were, at some point, a willing participant in putting the princess into a deep sleep?
It's all good. It works out perfectly in the end because now you get to be your own prince charming and save yourself.
Good morning, beautiful.
HAERTS - WINGS
"People never smile to say goodbye Leaving means there's nothing left to try But I broke my wings for you I smiled as you untied our love for good..."
Love has been here this whole time. It watched you as you slept. It remembered you even when you didn't remember it.
Love is an eternal resource that you can always drink from wherever you go.
Sometimes hearts must be broken so that they can be set free.
MACKINTOSH BRAUN - FROZEN
"What's the thing that leaves you frozen? Knowing what you need to do Tell me that there's nowhere to go to Tell me that we're already there..."
There is a voice that will sometimes whisper that you are a coward. That you are simply running away like you always do.
What do you say to that voice when it comes up? Maybe it's right. Maybe you didn't really try or do your best.
Stop for a minute.
Get out of the car.
Be still.
Now imagine the infinite directions you can go in, the infinite possibilities, the infinite outcomes, and the infinite versions of yourself:
There's the you that decided to never leave the city and continued doing the same things while making progress here and there.
There's the you that didn't bother packing. You dropped all your stuff at Goodwill and, with only a backpack, you got on a train without even knowing where it was going.
There's the you that took someone up on their offer to come with them to another country.
There's the you that decided to go to an even bigger city.
The funny thing is, none of those versions are wrong. But it's not about wrong really. It's about what you are willing to let go of in this very moment.
Will you let ideas of who you were in the past, or what is supposed to be in the future, freeze you?
People change. Places change. We are always moving, even when we are not leaving cities. But sometimes we are given an opportunity to decide where we want to go. Softly, and very lovingly, we can say goodbye to all those other versions of ourselves that we are ready to let go of.
You are the bright star.
You make the soundtrack to your life.
You are the one that says, "Goodbye now".
Click here for playlist.